| i like this one better |
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| 11:14pm 03/07/2003 |
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this is fun cause xanga isn't working and i never use lj anymore.
so this is exciting cause not many people read this so i can talk without being so vague. hahaha.
not that i will or anything.
oh and i'd like to say DEVIN LEANNE BAXTER.
yes, just like that.
because i want her to feel happy that someone's writing about her in their journal.
and i really wanna hang out with her soon.
so today was cool. and it worked out.
and my shirt smells so good.
hung out with some kids and ty and sarah and we rented the pianist and went to the mall and ordered pizza and drove alot and met his parents.
not in that order at all.
we just LOVE THAT MALL.
"Je pense que c'est un signe que les taches de rousseur dans nos yeux sont des images de miroir et quand nous embrassons elles sommes parfaitement alignés"
we can't get enough really. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| only in dreams |
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| 09:52am 26/05/2003 |
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this morning i was at chuck e. cheese.
and i kept finding quarters all over the ground, under machines.
and there was a machine where you could press a button and quarters would come out.
and even though it was stealing and i felt bad for it i kept doing it because i wanted them so bad.
so i played that thing where you get stuffed animals out of the machine with the claw that never works.
and i got a mickey mouse doll that was blue and not like mickey mouse at all.
and then i played this other game and won cotton candy.
grapefruit flavored cotton candy.
i asked the lady if i could have a different flavor.
she didn't let me. she wasn't very good at her job.
and i thought it was gonna be gross, but it was really good.
and then i woke up.
and i thought about the day, and i thought about the dream and then i had the best feeling i've had in the last 24 hours.
it was so strange. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| do it do it do it! |
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| 02:52pm 24/04/2003 |
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I _____ Lydia.
Lydia is ____.
If I were alone in a room with Lydia I would _____.
I think Lydia should _____.
Lydia needs _____.
I want to ____ Lydia.
Lydia can ____ my ____.
Someday Lydia will _____.
Lydia reminds me of _____.
Without Lydia _____.
Lydia can be _____.
_____ is how I describe meeting Lydia.
Worst thing about Lydia is _____.
Best thing about Lydia is _____.
I am ________ lydia.
If i could tell you two things about Lydia I'd say she _____________ and i'd like her to know that ____________.
fill this out and you're totally my er best friend. |
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| alright |
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| 10:03am 05/04/2003 |
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well alot of people commented. thanks guys.
devin, when will we ever hang out again? heh.
sean, awww sean i was reading your diary and all i want in life is for you to live in mansfield and we could hang out until you got sick of me. heh.
mike, i miss you! go to the infirmity/a flesh so weak show tonight.
and to the others thanks for liking my hair and giving me a friend :) heh.
umm so anyway, i don't really know what to write about..so uhhh i'll get to that later.
lloooooveeeee |
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| if you are feeling... |
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| 06:26pm 04/02/2003 |
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If you were [ _______], what would you be?
a flower? something that withers and opens back up when warm weather comes around again.
an animal? a white horse or an owl.
a fruit? a coconut.
a vegetable? an artichoke. definitely an artichoke.
a spice? cinnamon.
a color? brown fuh'eva'.
a bird? hawk.
Miscellaneous
are you left handed or right handed? right handed.
are you smart? no. not nerd-smart. but, socially smart. or socially aware.
whats your middle name? ruth.
how many personalities do you have? one? what?
how many piercings do you have/where? i don't.
do you like v-8? meh. it's ok with lime and hot sauce in it.
what was your first word? daddy, i think.
do you read your horoscope? no.
can you do a cartwheel? i used to could. maybe now, i think i'll try that later.
do you have bangs? no.
do you have contact lenses? no.
can you drive? yes. but i'm sure if i tried to drive a long distance at this point i would kill someone.
what do you drive? a chevy blazer.
do you snore? no. xpeacefulsleepercorex.
do you drool in your sleep? yes. always.
do you lick your envelopes or use a sponge? lick.
do you keep a journal? yes. www.xanga.com/foryourlove
what languages do you know? english.
do you like onions? only in hamburgers, and cooked.
do you like cotton candy? not really.
what instruments can you play? well kinda learning keyboards, and I can sing.
what words do you overuse? insecure.
what do you sleep in? whatever i'm wearing. or i change into something.
what's your bedtime? whenever i feel like sleeping.
how many pillows do sleep on/with? one, on a full sized bed. i'm so excited that i have a full sized bed, because when/if i get married i won't have to get a new bed! it's perfect-sized.
do you like to dance? swing dancing, always.
do you like to sing? always!
are you any good at it? possibly.
do you like to talk on the phone? rarely. well i don't mind talking to j-lowe on the phone because i'm used to it. i guess i'm warming up to phone-talk altogether.
how many times have you moved? like three-four?
what do you think of chain letters? please refrain from sending them to me.
do you like where you live? oh so very much.
is your bedroom messy? no, i cleaned it today.
do you like your handwriting? not particularly.
do you like to finger-paint? hehe. sure.
what do you smell like? warm vanilla sugar.
what do you put on hotdogs and hamburgers? hot dogs = relish, mustard, catsup, cheese, chili (if we have it). hamburger= mustard+catsup.
do you sleep with socks on? sometimes, but they always come off.
are you shy? no. not really.
do you talk to yourself? sometimes. if i feel really really akward.
is your house 1, 2, or 3 stories? two.
do you have a basement or an attic? uh. not sure.
what flavor fluoride do you get at the dentist? haha speaking of, i'll have to do that tomorrow. one time it was bubble gum, and one time it was strawberry, and i hate it.
did you go to preschool? no.
are you a morning person? no.
do you have a friend that you wish wasn't? haha. what?
who has the attractive voice in the world? uh. yes no comment.
who has the most annoying voice in the world? i don't know. no one's voice is annoying.
Do you believe in reincarnation? no sir.
do you believe in ghosts? no.
do you believe in bigfoot? no.
do you believe in the loch ness monster? no.
what's your favorite feature (on yourself)? probably my torso area and my hands. oh no wait my eyes.
what do you do when you're nervous? blush. alot.
who's your role model? hmm. hard to say.
what celebrities do you look like? hopefully no one.
what will/did you name your daughters? trinity elizabeth possibly. i'll have to talk it over with my man.
have you ever gone skinny dipping? no.
have you ever thought you were gonna die? yes. but it was of course ridiculous of me.
where's the farthest place you ever traveled? california? haha.
Would you rather burn to death or freeze to death? probably freeze.
If you could change your name, what would it be? funny you ask, i was just thinking today that i'm glad my name is Lydia. |
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| what the sex |
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| 06:16pm 20/01/2003 |
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i never thought the age sixteen would suck so much.
it's just that i've grown to be so insecure, that i can't really be myself anymore. and that kills me.
oh well.
i'll grow out of it i'm sure.
i cried for awhile tonight because someone said something mean to me in jest, but still it's something i'm very insecure about. so it really got to me. it was like taking the two knives that bother me the most, and stabbing them straight into the chest. ha. oh well.
i hate this. i hate it so much.
and i'm so left wondering. and that kinda sucks too. |
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| l.a. lady |
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| 01:20am 18/01/2003 |
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hold me closer tony danza. haha. ewww tony danza.
ohhhh minority report is such a good movie. yum.
ps and i love marina. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| do bee do |
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| 10:58pm 16/01/2003 |
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third eye blind is dumb.
but they remind me of the cali days.
hehe thanks hollye, btw. |
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| too many star |
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| 12:12pm 31/12/2002 |
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_pick up a book and write a sentence at random from it_Bim and Ben lead bands with brooms. Ben's band bangs and Bim's band booms. Fox in Socks.
_do the same with a lyric from a song_"for the benefit of tom and mary, before our guests arrive, if they haven't found out already, it's gonna blow their minds" Tom & Mary- Ben Folds Five
_have you ever tried to analyze your own dreams_no
_what posters do you have in your room_"none but i am soon painting them." hm. yes me too. in fact i took the last of the posters down lastnight, because i am painting it today.
_can you sing_yes.
_what's your favorite color of post it note_? i don't really care.
_how many cassette tapes do you own_ not many.
_how many cds do you own_hm alot.
_ever bought a cd for just one song_more than likely
_have you ever lied to get off the phone_ lied? hm. not sure.
_have you ever written a survey_ maybe? yes.
_how about a song_ many
_or maybe a poem_ maybe? i'm not too big a fan of poetry.
_ever been in an airplane_ yes. and i puked. each time. well almost each time.
_if so where were you flying to_ cali. each and every time.
_what color are your shoes_ black cons. navy blue velcros from wally world.
_describe your bedroom_ completely empty, save the furniture.
_would you ever shave someone else's head_ yes.
_name your favorite type of music_ mellow.
_are you a vegetarian_ no
_what movie do you have almost all the lines memorized to_ almost famous? hehe yes.
_current mood_ meh. yes, my chest itches. man me and marina.
_current music_ j.e.w. track 8
_current taste_ nothing.
_current dress_ jeans. brown sweater. black tank top. cons.
_current annoyance_ my room. my driving.
_current smell_ nothing
_current longing_ pizza, that i will make soon.
_current game_ the ren&stempy show on sega. yes. me and sarah WILL figure out how to get past the first level. hehe.
_current windows open_ none. i love when the windows are open though. i will open my window when we start painting.
_current desktop picture_ a picture of me. joy will hate me for it, and make me change it.
_current favorite musical artist_ pedro the lion/dashboard. yes, i'm bringing back dashboard. heh.
_current favorite group_ wait. i screwed that up. um. norah jones. everything is backwards!
_current book_ texas drivers handbook.
_current cds in stereo_ dashboard in my room.
_current colour of toenails_ maroon sparkly-chipped.
_current refreshment_ none
_current worry_ driving/painting
_current crush_ um. hehehehehehehehehehe. giddy? yes, and he doesn't know because i took a quiz in cosmogirl lastnigt, and it said i'm perfect with how i handle it, and that means that everything is perfect. siiiiike.
_current favorite celebrity_ hehehehehehehehehe. elijah "i have the best name ever" wood
_current hate_ hmm
_today have you_
_smiled_yes
_laughed_yes
_cried_ yes
_bought something_ no
_danced_ no
_were sarcastic_ of course
_talked to an ex_ no
_watched your favorite movie_ no
_a last time for everything_
_last book you read_ ugh. i already said. hehehe sarah just rolled her eyes at the background.
_last movie you saw_ uhhhhm. lord of the rings. ttt.
_last song you heard_ umm no comment. but the one that im listening to now is furtherseemsforever pictures of shore.
_last thing you had to drink_ uhhhh. chocolate milk.
_last thing you ate_ uhm. oatmeal.
_do you_
_smoke_no
_do drugs_no
_have sex_no
_sleep with stuffed animals_ no
_live in the moment_hopefully?
_have a dream that keeps coming back_no
_play an instrument_my voice. and learning to play piano.
_believe there is life on other planets_no
_remember your first love_i don't think i have one.
_still love him/her_
_read the newspaper_no
_have any gay or lesbian friends_ i don't think so?
_believe in miracles_yes
_believe it's possible to remain faithful forever_yes
_Consider yourself tolerant of others_sometimes.
_consider love a mistake_no
_have a favorite candy_yes
_believe in astrology_no
_believe in magic_no
_believe in God_yes
_go to church_yes
_do well in school_no
_go to or plan to go to college_no
_wear hats_no
_have any piercings_no
_have any tattoos_no
_hate yourself_ sometimes.
_have an obsession_ i don't think so
_have a secret crush_ um. well kinda.
_collect anything_ elephant everything.
_wish on stars_ no
_like your handwriting_ sometimes.
_have any bad habits_ yes
_care about looks_ looks to me is not the outside, but what comes out of the person makes them look a certain way. if ugliness comes out of them. they are ugly. vice versa. |
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| because it is |
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| 01:40am 31/12/2002 |
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so what are some of the things you've learned this year?
well i've really learned to calm the heck down, and stop worrying about everything so much. to trust God more. to love more. that it's not about works, it's about Jesus. those are just a few. I also learned that being humble is where God wants me. i didn't just hear it this time, i finallyfinallyfinally learned it. i learned to keep my mouth shut more when i want to say something that would not be good. the list goes on. i'm continually learning because that's how screwed up i am. heh.
most listened to cds of the year?
probably norah jones-come away with me
fiona apple-tidal
i listened to other cd's alot, but i listened to those two cds more than anyone should ever listen to one cd.
favorite pieces of clothing that you wore alot?
the jeans that i bought from wal-mart. they were on sale for five dollars. so i bought four pairs of the samexact pair.
the thrift store suit pants.
all my black t-s.
button down shirts.
worst thing that happened?
umm...hmmm.....probably when sarah got her fingers smashed in the garage door/when the lightning hit the house. those were some scary times.
random fond memories?
going to dbc with jennifer all the time in the summer after she spent the night on saturdays and we watched movies on the foldout couch.
getting to know all the infirmians better.
joining this new church
hehe emailing with matt lucas back in the day.
nights spent at jessie and mike's house.
breaking away from the steve thing. what a relief. <3 to him still though. man we liked eachother so much. it wasn't the right thing though. it's good we never went out.
dancing with sarah/laura/marina.
my sixteenth party night and taking sarah murray home the next day.
learning things. oh how i love learning. seriously. spiritual things.
going to dbc with shelly.
when spazaustin spent the night at our heezee and me and him stayed up talking. wait was that this year?
the sweatsuit party.
the pedro show with the josh's (whom i love like whoa) and shelly (whom i also love like whoa).
times with becca+mark+just everyone else i've hung out with.
seeing eight mile, yes. hehe.
shmunks for you
so many more. must stop now.
things i'm looking forward to this year:
****if God wills it all of course****
driving
probably getting my first job
turning seventeen, although all i want in life is to stay sixteen.
hopefully getting a significant other. hehe.
seeing where the church goes.
getting to know some church people better.
maturing.in.Jesus
getting married. just kidding. but ya never know. har har. |
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| when you're protected. |
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| 02:45pm 28/12/2002 |
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[ x ] Spell your first name backwards - aidyl.
[ x ] The story behind your lj user name - um. i thought it was cool. and something about doing anything for God's love. then i found out it was the name of some terrible sitcom on the wb a few years ago. but eh. whatev.
[ x ] Are you a lesbian - no
[ x ] Where do you live - texas
[ x ] 4 words that sum you up - fun. alot of work.
DESCRIBE YOUR
[ x ] Wallet - my nonexistant one?
[ x ] Hairbrush - my comb?
[ x ] Toothbrush - it's the best toothbrush ever. it has soft bristles. when i am done with it i should make a bracelet out of it because i do not want to forget it. i should give it a name. hmm. wanda. sounds good. spelled just like that.
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - CG pink bracelet. represent. a bracelet that i think my mom gave me like a year and a half ago? and recently a green choker string. it looks good on ya, i mean me.
[ x ] Pillow cover - some flowery one. barton used it one time so for like a night it smelled like cologne. it was a good smell.
[ x ] Blanket - a cream colored very soft and warm one. annnnd a comforter. a great comforter.
[ x ] Coffee cup - i don't have a specific one.
[ x ] Sunglasses - a pink pair that are vintage-ee. but i want j-lo ones.
[ x ] Underwear - what? which ones? peeeeeeeeeeeeeerveert. hehe.
[ x ] Favorite top - hmm. my button downs. that is my new style. steal it and die.
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - vanilla anything.
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - i don't know. i'm listening to norah jones though.
[ x ] Tattoos - negatory.
[ x ] Piercings - negatory.
[ x ] What you are wearing now - jeans. blue striped t. grey hoodie.
[ x ] Hair - messy.
[ x ] Makeup - leftover eyeliner.
WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)
[ x ] In my mouth - lemonheads were.
[ x ] In my head - i don't know.
[ x ] Wishing - that joy would get my hair stuff. which i believe she is.
[ x ] After this - probably clean the stuff off my shelves so me and my padre can paint.
[ x ] Talking to - online? no one.
[ x ] Eating - nothing. my tummy has been hurting from eating lemonheads.
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, and for what reason - no one.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - hehehehehehe. no comment. annnnnd laura.
[ x ] Is next to you - too much. deoderant. dental floss. nail clippers. letter from adam's mom. cds. pads. dirty dishes. salt. tums. container labeled 'jennifers'.
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - lotr. les miserables. almost famous. amelie.
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - hehehehe. well that annnnnd getting my permit (finally, yes!) and i don't know what else.
[ x ] The last thing you ate - tums.
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - deathly afraid of nothing. i don't like snakes though.
[ x ] Do you like candles - yes.
[ x ] Do you like incense - yes. some of it.
[ x ] Do you believe in love - Jesus is love. Jesus is in me.
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - yes
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - i don't know.
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - yes
[ x ] Do you believe in forgiveness - yes
[ x ] Do you believe in God - very much so.
[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die - hmm. i'd like it to be buried, and i want tears of joy from all my brothers/sisters in Christ that think upon the day when we'll meet again at the best place we could ever be. i'm so glad i have that to look forward to.
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - an ape. hehehe.
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - who knows.
[ x ] Ever been to Belgium - no
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - probably
[ x ] What's your favorite coin - quarter
[ x ] What are some of your favorite candy - I love candy
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - the truth.
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - how to love people.
[ x ] Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time - hmm. yes. probably.
[ x ] What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow - meh. |
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| fast as you can |
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| 02:03am 27/12/2002 |
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yay i saw carley tonight and she talked to me about my lj and she wants to add me now.
and i hung out tyler and i love tyler yes.
and i hope me and marina are still on for our "date".
and dan is shocked that i will not kiss till im married. no wait he's beyond shocked, he can't stop talking to me about it. hahahaha. |
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| pandamonium? |
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| 10:22pm 19/12/2002 |
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wow. i accidently messed that quiz up.
i took all the perverted questions out and filled it out on wordpad and then accidently put the unfilled-fullofgrossquestions one in my diary.
dangit! |
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| 10:41pm 01/12/2002 |
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i have a new goal.
when i see someone that seems upset, or needs something to put a skip in their step, or i just feel like doing it...i will try to brighten their day. someway.
and if they're unappreciative, then that's ok, i still tried and it's not about me anyway, so yeah. yay.
this is kinda exciting. |
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xlydiaxruthx's journal